If it ain’t rough, it ain’t right

The Pistons won another series after being down 3-2 on Sunday afternoon. The Stones put the Miami Heat on notice that they are still capable of throwing down some lockdown D. The Pistons game 7 defensive performance resulted in the Cavs scoring a record low 61 points, only scoring 23 points in the second half.

The Pistons should close out the Heat in six games. This years Heat isn’t as good as the team that stretched the Pistons to 7 games during last year’s eastern conference finals, another series won after being down 3-2. Watch for Sheed and Chauncey to have a big series. Tayshaun will keep Wade in check, if he can hold down Lebron (witness … DETROIT BASSSSKETTBALLL!) he can hold down Wade. Shaq plays well against the Stones, but the Diesel’s not the player he used to be. The only guy on the Heat that I’m concerned about is Zo. Zo plays high intensity all the time and he plays great D in the post. In short, he plays like a Piston.

“Shut up Stedman! This is my world you’re just a squirrel looking for a nut. I’m rich, bitch!”

For some reason I’ve been busier than usual this week and I’ve found myself working on the computer or folding laundry late in the evening. In most TV markets Jimmy Kimmel Live follows the ubiquitous Nightline (my preference at 10:35), but in Chicago the city is afraid of Oprah raining a Godzilla like destruction down on the populace, so the local ABC affiliate jams her gab fest between Nightline and JKL*. Having suffered through a few recent episodes I’ve come to the conclusion that Oprah is a unabashed man-hater and the main message to her audience seems to be, "screw the family, screw the kids, you’re husband’s a jerk, you need to focus on yourself." Just what the America needs, a daily affirmation of selfishness. One episode featured the ex-Mrs. Lance Armstrong bitching about how she had a great relationship, but she lost her "self" over time. She whined and whined about how she needed to be more selfish about her needs and she spent too much time on Lance’s needs. The rest of the hour focused on the idea that the reduced ability to be selfish was a big downer in a marriage. Of course Oprah is the expert on how to have a successful marriage or raise your kids, even though she hasn’t attempted either. (By the way, do you think Op has Stedman’s balls in a jar, or does she wear them around her neck?) Here’s a tip on how to have a successful long-term relationship/marriage that you won’t see on Oprah: It’s no longer just about you, it’s about us. It’s like being on a team; success is measured when the team accomplishes something, not the individual. It’s a simple as making decisions with the best interest of the team in mind. The concept of losing or sacrificing your "self" is a poison pill to a successful relationship, to be successful you have to think in terms of advancing the cause for the common good. Having a kid reinforces the importance of thinking in terms of "what’s good for my family" as opposed to "what’s good for myself."

The other theme on Oprah seems to be, "I’m rich, bitch". Oprah takes the show to her private gardens on her Santa Barbara estate. See Oprah take her dogs to the spa. Oprah owns half of Oahu. Oprah eats $25 brownies and makes oatmeal cookies with $50 dough, how extravagant! What a great life Oprah leads, always able to think about herself and restoring her spirit. An episode all about how many shoes Op has and how big her closets are? Really? What a lucky audience. See Op party with her rich friends as she throws her Legends Ball. (I think the idea of Oprah’s Legends Ball is eerily similar to the Player’s Ball seen in the Hughes brother’s classic "American Pimp" (someday this blog will examine the legendary pimp Mr. Whitefolks and his plans for the Million Mac March)). Anyway, that’s my beef with Op. In my opinion she’s not doing much besides dishing out a daily dose of dissatisfaction to her legions of American housewives.

* JKL is the best late night comedy/variety show on tv. Leno was never funny (anyone else remember the Leno/Mr. Miyagi (moment of silence) vehicle "Collision Course"?) and Dave has lost a step over the years (his old NBC show is the measuring stick). I’ve never understood Conan’s appeal; I feel the same about the Simpsons. As a matter of fact, I’ll bet that being a Simpson’s fan correlates with being a Conan fan (other signs include an unhealthy fascination with Monty Python, Star Trek, BBC comedies, etc.), it also correlates with being a smug dork who doesn’t understand what is and isn’t funny, but I digress. Craig Ferguson….who? JKL is the only show that is pushing the envelope and coming up with consistently funny, fresh material. I dare anyone to dispute this.

Package for Mr. James

The Pistons came up big in the first game of the Eastern Conference Semi’s against the Cavs, winning 113-86… and the Cavs had to fight to only lose by 27. Tayshaun Prince outplayed the mighty Lebron James at both ends of the floor, including a textbook rejection of a Lebron break away. The Cavs will be lucky to steal a game from the Pistons in this series. The Pistons are clearly the class of the NBA and the Larry O'Brien trophy will be residing at the Palace at the conclusion of the playoffs.

Radio Waves

I probably listen to the radio more often than most people do. When I was younger my Mom’s radio was a constant presence (WXYT – 1270 in Detroit) while she was doing stuff around the house. On top of that, my parents severely limited the amount of TV I was allowed to watch when I was a kid, but radio was a freebie. So as a kid growing up in the 80’s I actually listened to the old Superman and Buck Rogers radio shows. I remember the first time I heard the Lions version of "Another One Bites the Dust" on WLLZ – 98.7 and I recall spending quite a bit of time wondering who Judas Priest was and why he wanted me to break the law after I heard their rock anthem on the RIF, WRIF – 101.1. Sunday nights were always reserved for the Sunday Sports Albom. I started listening to sports radio in the summer of 1994 (I think) with the creation of WDFN – 1130 (the Fan) in Detroit. Since then, I’ve also lived in Milwaukee and Chicago and listened to their resident sports stations. I’ve heard some good shows over the years and some real bad ones. I started to listen to WMVP – ESPN 1000 in Chicago when I moved here. There is another station in town, WSCR – 670, but they are practically unlistenable so I discarded them right away. At the time ESPN 1000 had an afternoon host that was entertaining because he was off the charts on the unintentional comedy scale. His name is Bill Simonson, nickname Huge, and he practically rewrote the definition for jackass. The main component of the aptly named Huge show, was Huge going off about how cool he is and how everyone else is a wuss. Once he challenged any woman in the Chicago region to one – on – one and he promptly got his ass kicked by woman after woman. He wrapped up his time in Chicago by getting beaten up by a bunch of teenagers outside of Sox park. After being bested by both women and children it was increasingly hard to maintain his "tough guy" rep and Huge packed up shop and is currently debasing the airwaves in Grand Rapids.

After a few failed pairings after Huge was kicked to the curb, ESPN 1000 settled on the apparently successful three-headed monster of "Mac, Jurko, and Harry". At first, Afternoon Thunder, as they liked to be called in the early days, was a nice relief from Huge, but then I stared to hear Mac (Dan McNeil) and Jurko (ex NFL’er John Jurkovic) subbing on other shows and I realized how much Harry (Harry Teinowitz) was dragging down the whole production. At the time I was a loyal listener, if I was operating a radio between 3-7 it was tuned to Afternoon Thunder, but not anymore. I can’t stand Harry. In my listening opinion, he personifies a number of personality traits that I loathe. He’s gratingly whiny, he’s a unabashed bandwagon jumper (one of the few Chicagoans who seem to support both teams, Bruce Levine is another – don’t get me started on him), and he seems to have a big mouth that gets him into physical confrontations where he undoubtedly turtles like Claude Lemiuex (see picture). While I wouldn’t consider an obvious lack of athletic ability as a personality flaw, it does limit one’s ability to opine about sports, team sports in particular, and there is no way that anyone could convince me that Harry has a speck of athletic ability. So long story short, I don’t listen to Mac and Jurko anymore because I can’t stand Ferry, oops I meant Harry. My afternoon radio time is now filled with Steve Dahl and, egad, actual music.

Radio and I have been going through a tough spell as of late. Howard Stern’s departure caused a gaping hole in my morning radio. I’ve thought siriusly about following him to satellite, but I only have room for so many $10-15 monthly charges, and TiVo and Netflix are higher on my priority list right now. I also have a problem with Sirius running commercials during Howard’s show, even though I’m paying to receive it. Anyway, that’s another issue for another day. I know one thing for sure, nothing will ever match the halcyon days of Drew and Mike and a little donut shop terrorism.